I’ve just read your letter, and the phrase “where do I start?” is the understatement of the century! Haha, at least for me, but I’ll try here.
Something I’ve always believed in was the idea/power of divine intervention. My favorite book as a kid and now still as an adult was “Catcher In the Rye.” My definition of divine intervention has changed as I’ve grown, but only for the better, if not completely cemented within me what I had already been established by my parents. My mom and dad “papa” gavel and my sister the greatest gift of my life…well, besides my life. And that is the gift of discovery. I can’t say that I’ve honestly had a lifelong aspiration in terms of a career or lifestyle and that probably just because I’ve been too busy doing everything I thought was interesting. My dad liked to show my sister and I ALL the things we could do and that “way” to do something/anything regardless questions should both required and optional. Which at first I didn’t get, I was like “how can it both?” And he simply said “because the universe is and also isn’t.” I don’t know how to articulate what my brain though at age 7, but I knew I got that completely. So whenever we did stuff, I wasn’t thinking about is this the way we’re supposed to do or don’t do something, it was more about whatever our gut told us and/or whatever grabbed my curiosity. Here’s one of my favorites: when my sister and I were in the 3rd and 4th grade our teachers gave the class an assignment to bring a new word to class to share with everyone. When we told this to my dad, without missing a beat, he pulled out family dictionary and said “Erika, you get A and Malika, you get C. You have to read every word in your section until the assignment’s due. If you finish, come to me so I can test you, because I’ve read and I know every single word in that book” (I already know what you’re thinking, and you can relax because I’m still right there with you. It’s only now does it sound crazy that anyone could know the ENTIRE dictionary?!! But that was my dad, he was a genius. Mensa certified and all.) So when it was time to present our word, I chose to go last because I was nervous about pronouncing the word right and wanted more to say it to myself. Of the words shared were “ Kitten” “Refrigerator” “Because” “Nocturnal” my word?
“Conundrum.” It’s my favorite memory because from one idea of my class assignment, my dad just grabbed the dictionary like it was nothing! It wasn’t traditional in any way and it also wasn’t trying be exception. It just was. Very free. And that’s actually what then made my dad decide my sister and I had to start reading the dictionary. And more often than not, doing homework gave me more homework. Now, to sprinkle in my moms ingredients to her kids’s recipe, real simple. “As long as it makes you happy” that’s it. She’s been so nonchalant on this point that I know I’ve actually annoyed her if I asked for her opinion/permission. I mean we weren’t hoodlum kids (well…depends on who you ask) because we were firmly disciplined and inebriated with manners. So the combination of it all has been at the root of where I’ve been, where I’m going, what I’ve and what I’m doing. There was no plan to any of it. And having finally worked hard on myself to get back to remembering that I can easily see the moments of what lead to the more painful situations and choices I made but they also lead to all the great ones too. I’ve never had a plan. I’ve just always had love and appreciation for everything and anyone. One of my favorite quotes by his royal airness, Michael Jordan is “ I still understand little, but I’m capable of accomplishing a lot.” And that’s tells me everything I need to know every time I read it.

Phew! Sorry I can sometimes go off on a tangent, but if I can say more thing, which is the most important sentiment I want to share is that I’m so grateful of you and for you to share your letter!, not a “story” which in and of it self, tells your story as a person and offering of lessons at the same time. Especially seeing it now, today it brings full circle for me, the (tiny) doubts about holding firm to doing whatever makes me happy -the only doubts I need to be supportive of and not dismissive are that of my friends who, ultimately care very deeply because you have to care to express to concern, just the same has showing love. Of behalf of my crazy mind and unwavering heart, I infinitely say thank you for this letter of intervention. The blessing has been indeed divine.

Here’s to your continued journeys which I hope bring even more unknown destinations in 2020 and beyond.

Kindly,
Malika